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Ahh, eggnog. Nothing really captures the spirit of Christmas for me like preparing my traditional holiday eggnog mix – take a coffee cup, fill it 75% full of eggnog, then stir in brandy until full. Happy effing Holidays.

I got to wondering about the authenticity of this drink, and whether I’ve been missing out on an even better way to enjoy it. Some internet searching revealed no less than a dozen different eggnog mixes. Some of them involve apricot brandy, rum, and/or bourbon. One has sherry in it. It would seem that even after 200 years, the perfect eggnog question is far from answered. And these are just the survivors. How many eggnog recipies have been lost on the winds of time?

These dozen final contenders must each be bringing something interesting. So, in a desperate bid for Cuttlefish Content, I’ve decided to create, consume, and blog about each one.

All drinks will be given a floating point number between 0 and 1, with 1 being “Perfect Eggnoggity.” Eggnoggity shall be determined using a top secret formula that takes into account ease of preparation, taste, consistency, and the awesomeness of the liquor(s) involved (sherry: not nearly as awesome as Jamaica rum).

Plain eggnog scores a Perfect Eggnoggity (PE) factor of 0.3, because in general alcohol makes eggnog better. My 75/25 mix comes in right around 0.8 PE.

The contestants will be as follows:

Ambassador’s Morning Lift

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
6 oz cognac
6 oz Jamaica rum
6 oz creme de cacao

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Brandy or Bourbon can be used as a substitute for cognac.

Baltimore Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
5 oz brandy
5 oz Jamaica rum
5 oz Madeira wine

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Breakfast Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
10 oz apricot brandy
2 oz Curacao

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Christmas Yule Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
12 oz apricot brandy
1 1/2 oz rum
Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Imperial Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
10 oz brandy
2 oz apricot brandy

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Nashville Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
6 oz bourbon
3 oz brandy
3 oz Jamaica rum

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Port Wine Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
18 oz Port wine

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Rum Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
12 oz rum

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Sherry Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
18 oz sherry wine

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Whiskey Eggnog

1 qt prepared dairy eggnog or eggnog batter
12 oz blended, rye or Canadian whiskey

Combine in large mixing bowl. Stir well. Sprinkle with nutmeg.

Finally, the following ground rules will apply:

1. Ingredients will be scaled down to single serving sizes, but their ratios maintained.

2. Nutmeg may or may not be sprinkled on a given contestant. The presence or absence of nutmeg will in no way influence the score of a contestant.

3. Eggnog batter will not be used. The base used will be Alta Dena Holiday Eggnog dispensed from half gallon paper containers.

4. No substitues will be applied.

Let the games begin!

Posted on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007 at 10:06 pm in C2H5OH | rss feed for comments| Both comments and pings are currently closed.